Thursday, 14 May 2015

A Bit at a Time...

Well I actually had started writing a post which is still sitting in draft as I hadn't gotten very far with it. I find it so hard now to actually find the words I want to use, once upon a time it came so easily, now each sentence is a struggle. Nothing "flows" anymore, a sudden thought will glimmer, surface and is gone in a flash, leaving me grasping at thin air, in my head it feels like I'm running around in my brain desperately trying to find the information it once contained, years of acquired knowledge and memories, but there's nothing there but empty filing cabinets with a few strewn papers on the floor, and I feel like I've been robbed, that some of my most treasured possessions have been stolen from me. As I try to grasp what I can from the strewn papers, the fog comes in and takes even them from sight. it is so frustrating.
Something happened today that I really wanted to post about but I guess I'll just have to make do with baby steps, a bit at a time. When you have a chronic illness you don't get a thing called choice...you don't get to choose when you want to do something. Fibromyalgia steals from you and deals the cards, and yes I fight back every day, my reward will be a small accomplishment...and my punishment will be severe...

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